Disoriented Emotions
by Chemoetherapy
Summary: Around the time Ritsuka starts to question his relationship with Soubi, Ritsuka’s mother goes too far with the abuse. Soubi forces the sacrifice to move in with him and Kio doesn’t like it one bit. Ritsuka finds out that Soubi's reasons are all in a diary
1. Going Somewhere Too Fast

Disoriented Emotions

Summary: Around the time Ritsuka starts to question his relationship with Soubi, Ritsuka's mother goes too far with the abuse. Soubi forces the sacrifice to move in with him and Kio doesn't like it one bit. Yuiko has conflicting emotions on whether or not to confess her love. Within all this, Ritsuka is feeling pressured to lose his ears.

--

Ritsuka's situation was irritating Soubi to the fullest. Seeing the younger boy go to school each day with the bandages covering his wounds and bruises hidden under layers of clothing was making his heart ache. He couldn't take knowing that it was Ritsuka's own mother doing this to him and that he had no control over it.

Countless times, the blonde had begged for Ritsuka to abandon his mental mother and come to stay with him, but the sacrifice had always turned him down. He had retorted with saying he would be no better if he left her alone as he felt when Seimei supposedly died.

This would not stop the university student from continually reminding Ritsuka that his home was always open to him. Ritsuka was sixteen now and had become old enough to make his own decisions. He had become a mature young man and had grown in height. He could now reach Soubi's chin. His hair had grown out some, about an inch or so. It was nowhere near Soubi's hair length. The only sign that Ritsuka was still a child was the two velvety neko ears perched on the top of his head and his tail, which swished with his mood.

Soubi had yet to take his ear and would never do so without the sacrifice's consent. He would never force him to do something he didn't want to and Ritsuka knew this.

Soubi leaned against a concrete column near Ritsuka's high school entrance waiting for the boy to be released from school in about ten minutes or so.

--

Ritsuka fidgeted in his seat waiting for the bell to sound and for the classes to be dismissed. He really should have been paying attention, but it wasn't like any of the other students were paying any attention either.

Yuiko sat on his left as she had always sat in every class they had together since the sixth grade. She was reading a fashion magazine hidden well inside her textbook. She delicately flipped the pages trying now to rip one by accident.

Yayoi sat on his right, his gaze set on Yuiko with his chin on his palm. He was still obsessed with the pink haired girl, though Yuiko didn't seem to share or return the feeling back.

Ritsuka tapped his foot impatiently. His line of vision went out the window seeing a blonde adult with a cigarette between his teeth. The sacrifice was joyful and slightly irritated. Happy because Soubi cared enough to come to see him, but irritated because Soubi thought he needed him to walk him home everyday at his current age.

"Ritsuka, are you coming?" He felt a tap on him shoulder and looked up to see Yuiko smiling at him. Ritsuka nodded, not realizing that the bell had sounded while he was day dreaming.

"Yeah," he replied to her question as he got up and gathered his things. Yayoi waited at the classroom door. The three exited the building chatting about random stuff and how their days went.

Reaching where Soubi was standing, the blonde greeted Ritsuka with a, "Hello Ritsuka," The younger boy snatched the cigarette from Soubi's mouth and threw it on the sidewalk. From there he proceeded to stomp the cancer stick out with a passion.

"I thought I asked you to stop smoking! One day it is going to kill you!" Ritsuka's voice was angry. His face was red with madness.

"I am. That's only my second one in a week. It takes time to break a habit," Soubi said matter-of-factly.

"Hi, Soubi-san! Are you going to be able to join me and Yayoi at the arcade?" Yukio jumped into the conversation. Yayoi just shy stood in the background.

"I'm afraid not. I actually have to finish a painting." Yuiko sighed and then hooked arms with Yayoi and dragged him off.

"Do you really have a painting to finish?" Ritsuka asked in an unbelieving voice. From all the calls Soubi seemed to get from Kio about his projects, Soubi never did anything until the last minute. He doubted today changed anything.

"No. I just wanted to spend some time with you and only you." Soubi replied with a suggestive wink behind the lenses of his glasses.

--

Arriving at Soubi's apartment, Ritsuka felt a little nervous and antsy. With the lie that the blonde said to get rid of Yayoi and Yuiko and that wink when he said he wanted to spend some time alone with him, it was to be expected. Soubi had the tendency to just kiss him without a moments notice. It was awkward of course, but he wouldn't say he complained. He just was a little confused by the action.

Right this moment, the blonde was preparing tea via tea kettle in his small kitchenette. His beautiful locks bound in a band, holding it in a high ponytail. His glasses rested on the bridge of his nose. To be truthful, he was looking absolutely sexy and Ritsuka was well aware of it. It was the reason for the sudden blush that crossed his face.

Though Ritsuka was still confused about Soubi and how he felt about the blonde, his mind still lingered on how much he meant to Soubi. Even when Soubi constantly reminded the younger boy of his love for him, a sudden decline in intimacy had occurred recently. Ritsuka was almost positive that at his current age, Soubi would try harder than ever to take Ritsuka's ears or at least get in more than the occasional peck. He was confused at what had caused Soubi's state of disinterest. Was Soubi really not interested in him anymore?

"Ritsuka." Ripped from his thoughts, the neko boy looked up to see Soubi with two cups two cups of tea in his grasp. Taking a seat next to Ritsuka, he handed a cup to the boy. Ritsuka accepted the cup and took a sip. Soubi placed his own mug on the small, oak coffee table before them.

"Soubi," Ritsuka started. Thinking now was as good as any time; he decided to ask Soubi about what was on him mind. "Why don't you seem interested anymore?"

Soubi was slightly taken back from this question. Of course, he, himself, knew the answer to this question. Since Ritsuka had never acknowledged his advances and feelings, he attempted to stop forcing himself on the high school boy. Maybe, just maybe, Ritsuka actually wanted to make this a relationship.

"Of course I'm interested. You don't have to worry." There was that glint again; that glint that meant that Soubi was up to something.

Soubi's hand wrapped around the cup in Ritsuka's hand and placed it on the table. The younger boy had a confused look plastered on his face. The elder man pushed Ritsuka gently back so he laid on the couch as he hovered over him. Their eyes met and the violet eyed boy's brow was furrowed. Soubi smile and their lips connected.

Ritsuka's eyes widened at the sudden intimacy as Soubi's tongue ran across his bottom lip. The boy gasped, granting Soubi entrance to his mouth.

To Ritsuka, this experience was all very new to him. He just let his instincts take over as his fingers wove into Soubi's hair and he began to kiss back. He removed the band that held the blonde's hair up and ran his fingers through the soft and silky lock.

When both needed air, they broke the kiss and Soubi moved his lips to Ritsuka's neck. He sucked and bit a trail down until he found the spot where Ritsuka gave the most response. The boy moaned at the attention his neck was receiving. He loved the sensation he was getting.

"Sou-chan, I knew you were a pervert, but this is going a little too far!"

Soubi was thrown out of his trance and looked up to find Kio standing by the door with one hand on his hip and the other occupied with a bag. His eyebrow was raised in an expression that said 'you should be ashamed of yourself!'.

Ritsuka, whom Soubi was still straddling, turned bright red. He could rival a tomato. He shoved Soubi off him and stumbled over to get his bag. "I've got to go,'" he mumbled before running out the door.

"Hentai!" Kio said before retreating to his own bedroom. Soubi had a shock and confused look on his face. It changed to a slightly irritated look.

"Thanks a lot Kio."

--

Ritsuka lean against a wall outside of Soubi's apartment building. He attempted to catch his breath after sprinting out of Soubi's apartment and down all those stairs.

What had happened back there? Why had he let Soubi do that to him? Why did it feel so good and somewhat right? He was more confused than before.

Of course he knew Soubi cared, especially after what he just did. Now, he really didn't know what he felt for the blonde. What were these feelings he felt and that spark that jolted through him when they kissed.

He gazed into a shop window on his way home and he saw his reflection looking back at him. His neko ears were perched on his jet black hair. His violet eyes that contrasted with his peach skin. His slender neck that now had several marks on it. Were those hickeys?

Ritsuka hand automatic went to cover his neck to hide the marks Soubi had left behind. How was he going to hide this from his mother?

Zipping up his hoodie, and pulling the hood over his head, he gave a satisfied grin for successfully hiding the love bites. Looking down at his watch, he ran off. Curfew was in a several minutes.

--

"Ritsuka-chan, what's up with the scarf? It's not that cold out?" Yuiko asked. Ritsuka, Yayoi, and she were sitting in their classroom because they had arrived early. Ritsuka had come to with a scarf covering his hickey, which he was especially hiding from his two friends. He didn't know how they would react. They would probably think that he had a girlfriend or something.

"Uh, nothing." Ritsuka responded, not making eye contact. The other two just shrugged as more kids entered the classroom.

--

By the end of the school day, Ritsuka was pretty exhausted. The scarf was still around his neck and he had avoided all questioned about it. Right now, he would have loved to crawl in bed. His plans were change when he saw Soubi leaning against the concrete column. He had been sure that he would have been mad that he had run out the day before.

"Hello, Ritsuka. Why do you have that scarf?" Ritsuka growled at Soubi as he grabbed the older man's arm and dragged him off. He waved to Yayoi and Yuiko as they walked off.

"Soubi, you know exactly why I'm wearing this scarf! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have anything to hide!" Ritsuka hissed once they were out of earshot. He pulled the scarf off and showed Soubi what he had done.

Soubi laughed and then said, "I apologize. You can punish me or order my not to do it again if you'd like."

"No." The truth behind his response was that something in the back of him mind told him that he didn't hate what Soubi had done the day before. He liked that contact.

"So what do you want to do today?" Soubi questioned.

"I don't know. I guess go to your place since we're already going in that direction. Plus, I want to avoid my mom. I don't want to know what she do if she saw your handiwork." With that said, they continued in the direction of Soubi and Kio's shared apartment.

--

Soubi stood in the kitchen, preparing ramen for Ritsuka and himself. He knew that the boy liked the simpler things and ramen was almost as simple as it got. As Soubi cooked the meal, his thoughts moved to the day before. Why had Ritsuka asked about his halt in intimacy and then push him away when they were getting somewhere? Why had he run off? It didn't add up.

When the ramen was ready and he added the seasoning, he turned to bring the food to the table. Ritsuka was sound asleep on the couch looking completely at peace. The blonde smiled and walked over to watch the defenseless boy.

"Soubi," Ritsuka moaned in his sleep, which automatically caught Soubi's attention. "Don't stop. I don't want you to stop." Soubi raised an eyebrow at this.

Kio had entered the room just in time to here Ritsuka's sleep talking. He looked at his roommate. "Well, maybe he really does care about you, Sou-chan." Kio stated.

"Yeah, maybe it isn't unrequited," Soubi said. He didn't see the hurt flash in Kio's eyes as he left the room to the sanctuary of his own room.

--

A/N: This is my first Loveless fan fiction, so please review. I have the story planned out and the real plot will come out next chapter.


	2. A Mother's Loathing

Disoriented Emotions

A/N: Well, I got a couple reviews and thought, what the heck! Why not start working on the next chapter. The drama starts here, though drama seems to ride on Ritsuka's back (If you can tell me what song I'm referencing, you get a cookie).

A/N 2: Sorry for this taking so long. I start school Monday, so the update won't be very frequent. I can't get in contact with my new beta , x sinister, so I'm just going to post it and hope there are no major errors.

P.S. Anybody who is into the Kingdom Hearts fandom should be looking out for my new series (If I can even call it that). It will probably be my biggest project yet. Don't worry though, I won't abandon this story.

Chapter 2: A Mother's Loathing

--

It was about thirty minutes from the time Soubi usually headed out to escort Ritsuka home and Soubi should have been getting ready to leave. Instead, he was sitting on his bed thinking about the boy.

His mind still lingered on the day before when he had ravished the younger boy. The way he moaned as he bit his neck made Soubi want to repeat their escapades. The way their tongues battled for dominance made him hot. Their bodies were a perfect fit for each other. He wanted it to happen again and again.

If only Ritsuka would give him his ears. His thoughts moved to Ritsuka writhing under him in bliss; the boy screaming his name in ecstasy.

Now, he was left with an undesirable _problem_. He very well couldn't go and pick up Ritsuka when he was hot for said boy.

"I could help you with that." It was Kio, who stood leaning against the door frame. His expression was suggestive.

Soubi was well aware that it was wrong. He knew he should have been on his way to pick up Ritsuka. He knew that when he went through with this, he was betraying the sacrifice. He knew that Ritsuka would hate him if he found out.

He wouldn't find out. He wouldn't know anything unless Soubi confessed. Kio just looked so seductive.

Their eyes connected and Kio entered the room and closed the door.

Nobody would know of their relationship.

--

He hadn't come. Soubi didn't come to pick Ritsuka up that day.

The high school boy had a disappointed look in his eyes. He should have known that once Soubi realized he didn't want a romantic relationship with him, he wouldn't come around to pick him up anymore.

The truth was that Ritsuka felt that he really did want that kind of relationship with Soubi. He just wasn't sure how to react to the things Soubi said and did. He didn't want to end up as some slut.

The high school boy checked his cell phone, hoping to find a message from blonde. He had no such luck. Ritsuka tried calling, but got no response.

He would just have to go home with Yuiko and Yayoi. Sighing softly, he walked off with his friends, looking a little hurt.

--

"Ritsuka!" Dinner's ready!" Misaki, Ritsuka mother, yelled up the stairs.

"I'm not hungry," responded Ritsuka. He just wasn't up to eating at the moment. His mind kept returning to Soubi's whereabouts. Last time Soubi had disappeared, he was injured badly and was hiding it from Ritsuka. He never wanted that to happen again. He continued wishing that was not the case.

He checked his cell phone once again and found there were still no messages. Where was he?

His door slammed open; the same door he swore he locked. "Where is my Ritsuka? Bring him back!" Misaki launched herself over to where Ritsuka sat looking surprised and scared of the sudden intrusion. Her thin fingers wrapped around his neck and dug into his flesh, cutting off his air supply. "Where is he?"

"I don't know," he struggled to say when she had lightened up on her death grip. Still, he could hardly breathe. He was used to his mother getting like this sometimes, but this time was a little different. She seemed intent on killing him if the original Ritsuka did not return in a matter of seconds.

"Bring him back!" His mother shouted, her voice carrying through the room.

"I can't,' Ritsuka responded. Misaki proceeded to throw her son to the ground and lifted the wooden chair Ritsuka had been in moments before over her head. She slammed it down upon his frail body. A snap sounded and Ritsuka screamed in pain.

Misaki proceeded to kick Ritsuka in his side yelling about how her real son was missing and he need to come back. Unable to defend himself without injuring his own mother, the sixteen year old bit his lip, in attempts to stop from crying out. He continued to take the blows his mother brought on.

There was a distant ringing which seemed to be the house phone. His mother's whole attitude change as she skipped off to answer the phone.

Ritsuka lied there, unable to move his body. He had no strength. He couldn't stand even if he tried, seeing as the snap from earlier happened to be his leg. His head was pounding and his vision was going in and out of focus. A couple of blinks later, Ritsuka lost consciousness.

--

Waking up in his dark room, Ritsuka felt the pain from earlier slam into him. His head was throbbing with pain and he was having trouble breathing. Listening for any sign of his mother, he started to crawl when he heard no noise.

His eyes scanned the dark room for his phone's silhouette. He moved an arm, which was less injured than the rest of him, searching for the electronic device. He had to contact Soubi.

When his hand had found it, he flipped it open and selected the blonde's number. With the phone up to his ear, he heard the phone ringing. Not too long after, he heard Soubi's voice, but it was only his voicemail.

"Soubi," he whispered when prompted to leave a message. He was losing consciousness once again. He dropped the phone as he blacked out; thoughts of Soubi bouncing around in his head.

--

Soubi awoke in Kio's dark bedroom. The other blonde lay asleep next to him; his arm lying across his chest. He, himself, was exhausted from their activities, but knew he could not rest peacefully until he was sure Ritsuka was safe at home. He left the bed and Kio whined in his sleep; typical Kio.

He pulled on his boxers and walked to the living room, where his cell phone lay abandoned hours before. The red light on his phone was flashing, alerting him that he had a message.

Reading the screen, he was informed that Ritsuka had called a couple of times and had left a message. He called his voicemail and put the phone to his ear to listen to the message.

At first there was silence and Soubi was beginning to think that the message was left on accident. There was breathing and then the whispering of his name. Ritsuka's strained and pained voice was heard and Soubi's eyes widened as how desperate the boy had sounded.

The blonde hung up and hurried to find his discarded clothes from Kio's room. He frantically grabbed the article of clothing and dressed quickly. Kio had awoken in the search with a confused and dazed look. Soubi ignored Kio's questions as he left the apartment. The only thing on his mind was finding Ritsuka and insuring he was safe.

--

When Ritsuka awoke again, he was lying on a bed with white linen sheets. He was in a crisp clean room with white walls, a small window, and a closed door. A chair stood in the corner. Machines beeped and lit up around him. The bright light on the ceiling was blinding him.

Ritsuka raised a hand to his head after feeling a sharp headache forming. This headache and all the stress he was feeing was blocking out his memories from the moment he had left school. Bandages wrapped around his ribs and a cast was around one of his legs.

He began to frantically move around, not aware of where he was. He didn't know this place and he was positive it was not his bedroom.

With the commotion he was making, a lady rushed in trying to get his attention. "Stop!" You're going to hurt yourself!" She cried. Ritsuka ignored her, still attempting to leave this foreign territory. The lady rushed out of the room.

When the same lady returned, Ritsuka was finally out of the bed after maneuvering his cast clad leg out of the bed. He was about the tell her to leave him alone when he notice she had came back with someone else. The person was the very familiar Soubi, who stood there with a concerned look on his face.

Ritsuka automatically calmed after realizing he was safe. The blonde had that effect on him. Soubi walked over and helped the boy back into his bed.

"Soubi, where am I? I can't remember anything that happened since school got out," Ritsuka said after Soubi had pulled the chair that had been in the corner up to his bedside. He was very relaxed now that he was with Soubi.

"You're in a hospital," Soubi replied. Ritsuka took a chance to look around and realized that that was indeed correct and it made sense. Soubi continued. "You left a message on my phone, so I went to your house and founded you lying on the floor in your room. You had passed out and one of your legs and two of your ribs were broken." Soubi's face tensed up. "What happened?"

Ritsuka looked as if he was deep in thought; concentrating on remembering when he really had a sure idea of he obtained the injuries. He had informed Soubi of his mother and his situation at home, but he didn't want anything to happen to her. He knew what would happen if anybody knew his mother was abusing him, especially to this degree.

With the nurse still present all he could respond with was, "I fell down the stairs accidentally."

Soubi dismissed the nurse and she exited the room. The blonde's concern clearly showed from the expression on his eyes and face.

"Ritsuka, we both know that you didn't fall or at least you didn't fall on your own. We both know what really happened." Ritsuka looked down in his lap and nodded.

"With that understood, I would like you to move with Kio and me." Soubi looked at Ritsuka, whose answer was clearly etched on his face.

"You know the answer to that. I won't abandon my mother." Ritsuka ears twitched in irritation.

"You wouldn't be abandoning her. You will still be in the same town. It's safer for the both of you." Ritsuka opened his mouth in protest, but Soubi raised his hand to silence him. "Just promise to think about it."

"Fine," Said the ever stubborn boy.

Right now, they were both content with the silence. Being in each others company seem enough for them. The comforting silence was broken when Soubi's cell phone began to ring. The blonde opened the cell phone and saw it was Kio calling. "I have to take this call," Soubi said and excused himself from the room.

--

"Hello," Soubi spoke into the phone, his voice laced with anger. He was still angered by the thought that Ritsuka's mother had injured her own child to that extent.

"Sou-chan!" whined Kio into the phone, "Why did you leave? I thought we had a good time?"

"Ritsuka was hurt." He replied. He was feeling absolutely horrible for what he had done. If only he had went with his better judgment and declined Kio's offer. He should have picked up Ritsuka and avoided this guilt and the sacrifice's injuries.

What was he going to tell Ritsuka if he found out? He had no excuse. It was a mistake and he hadn't been thinking. He sounded like every cliché in the book.

"Sou-chan, why don't you just leave that brat? You can't really have a relationship anyways. It's against the law!" Kio sounded irritated on the other side of the phone.

Soubi just hung up on his blonde friend. He just didn't understand how much Ritsuka meant to him.


	3. Crossing the Invisible Line

Disoriented Emotions

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that appear in this story. They belong to the talented Yun Kouga. Naoki is owned by xsinister.

--

Chapter 3: Crossing the Invisible Line

--

While in the hospital, Yuiko and Yayoi had visited Ritsuka several times. They came with flowers and his school work, which he had no intention of falling behind on. Yuiko had baked him pastries packed with sugary goodness, and came by as often as possible with Yayoi in tow. Yayoi was looking somewhat jealous of the attention the girl was giving Ritsuka, as always

Soubi, without a doubt, had been there everyday. No matter how much Ritsuka had told him that he was capable of being on his own, his fighter would continue showing up. Luckily, this week he did not have class, because a large art project he had been assigned. This was the reason for the easel that was set up in the corner of his hospital room.

Ritsuka could not say he didn't like the attention he was being given. He loved the fact that Soubi cared enough to stay with him and keep him company. Not once did his mother come visit him. He didn't expect her to.

After a couple of days, he was discharged from the hospital with a pair of crutches to help him get around. There was no way he was going to let Soubi carry him around all the time. The two walked down the street leading to Ritsuka's home. The coolness of the incoming autumn enveloped them.

"I've decided," stated Ritsuka and Soubi glanced at the young boy. The sacrifice did not make eye contact, but continued to stare at the path before them.

"And what is your decision?" Soubi asked. He was hoping Ritsuka would accept his offer. The blonde wasn't completely sure that he was capable of protecting the teenager from his mother without injuring the woman.

"I will move in on several conditions," Ritsuka said with authority.

"And those would be?"

Ritsuka had thought this through. "I want to be free to leave if I choose to go back home. I don't want a curfew. You have to give me my privacy. I think that's about it."

Soubi was fine with him leaving if he chose to, and giving him his privacy, but he wasn't all for Ritsuka not having a curfew. Even though he wanted to protest against it, he didn't want the sacrifice to change his mind. "Alright," he agreed.

As they continued towards Ritsuka's home to retrieve some of the boy's items, Soubi watched the sacrifice hobble along on his crutches. He really wanted to just carry the boy, but Ritsuka would have none of it.

The younger boy was having a mental battle as to whether he should hope his mother wasn't home, and hoping she was. He didn't know if he wanted to quickly get his stuff and leave, or if he wanted to see his mother who hadn't visited him in the hospital. The sacrifice knew that he loved his mother, but if she continued injuring him, she could end up killing him.

When they reached the Aoyagi household, Ritsuka retrieved the spare key from under the welcome mat. It was somewhat ironic that the welcome mat made everyone, but the inhabitants of the house, feel welcome. Slipping the key into the lock on the door, he turned it and entered the house.

They were in luck and were greeted with complete solitude. Ritsuka pocketed the key and went to his room, allowing Soubi to help him up the stairs.

--

A frown was visible on Kio's face as he eyed Soubi carrying an oversized cardboard box into the apartment. Ritsuka followed behind the fighter, his messenger bag over his shoulder as he made his way into the apartment on his crutches. Kio's frown turned into a glare at the sight on the younger boy.

"What's all this?" He asked once the boxes were set down and the three were settled in the living room. Kio continued to eye Ritsuka's new cast and the crutches that were propped up on the arm of the couch.

"Kio," Soubi said and caught eye contact with the other blonde, "Ritsuka is moving in with us. He will be staying in my room, so he won't affect you much."

This instantly led to Kio's trademark whining. "Sou-chan! How can you move in with a kid? You look enough like a pervert without you living with him!" Kio paused and his overall tone changed. "I thought we…" He trailed off after he caught Soubi's stern glare signally him to not reveal anymore.

"Ritsuka, you can take your bag and unpack your things into an empty drawer." Ritsuka nodded and went off to do as he was told.

Once the younger boy was out of earshot, Soubi began to speak to Kio. "What we did was a one time thing." Soubi face was emotionless and his words were merciless; the words slashing at Kio's heart. Ritsuka means everything to me, so I can't be doing these things with you. I had a lapse in judgment, that's all."

Kio, who had been attempting to retain his composure, stood up, slapped Soubi across the face, and bolted out the door with tears leaking from his face from being insulted.

Soubi sat there still not reacting to what happened and not understanding why Kio was upset. It had never mattered before. They were just there for each other. Before the thoughts took over his mind, the blonde headed back to his room to help Ritsuka get situated.

--

Kio stopped in front of an apartment complex and lifted his glasses to wipe away a few stray tears. The brick building stood tall making Kio feel smaller than he already felt.

The blonde college student entered the building and walked up the steel elevator. Pushing the little button with an arrow pointing up, he waited for it to come. Inside, he pushed yet another button labeled with a number four.

He was still taking in all these feelings. Why did he care that Soubi loved Ritsuka? He had never cared before. It was just that now, Soubi rejections and cruel words hurt more than ever.

The elevator came to a halt and Kio exited it to search for apartment number 401, which happened to be at the other end of the hall. With an apprehensive knock, Kio waited for the inhabitants of the apartment to answer the door.

An irritated boy with silky hair pulled the door open. The look on his face showed that he was frustrated. He just happened to be shirtless.

Kio lifted an eyebrow. "Was I interrupting something?" He asked with quirk.

"Never expect you to show up here. Thought you were happy to be rid of us." Youji said as he led Kio into the apartment.

The apartment was smaller than the one that Kio, Soubi, and to Kio's displeasure, Ritsuka shared. It had a living room/ kitchen combination, and a hallway that lead to a bathroom and one bedroom.

"Youji, who was it?" the other boy, Natsuo whined. He was lying on the couch, his own shirt missing. Kio was beginning to think he really did interrupt something.

Several minutes later, the zero pair and Kio were sitting on the couch. Kio was a little uncertain in sitting down because of the things that could have happened on it, but it was the only place to sit. Their coffee sat on a small table, steaming from its own heat.

Not much had changed from the couple years the two had moved out. Their hair had been cut a little shorter and they had grown in height, but that was to be expected. The only drastic change was that both boys no longer had their ears or tails. It didn't really surprise Kio seeing as the boys were practically destined to give their ears to each other.

Kio was feeling terribly out of place sitting next to the younger boys, who were both giving him knowing looks.

"So you're having trouble with Soubi, huh?" Youji asked, leaning against the arm of the couch.

"N-no," Kio shuddered. "Can't I visit you two without there being something wrong?" Kio was lying through his teeth. That was exactly why he came, but he felt foolish if he just admitted it.

"Okay, then. How's Ritsuka?" Natsuo asked with a knowing voice. Kio's eyes harden at the name of the person who currently held Soubi's interest.

"Kio, we know it's about Soubi, so just tell us what you need." Youji stated. Kio's gaze fell to the floor and he twiddled his fingers in his lap. He didn't even know where to begin. Should he just say he became jealous when Ritsuka took Soubi's complete attention or just confess he had loved Soubi for years and hadn't found a way to confess those feelings? Was he actually going to ask for advice from two teenaged boys?

"Well, tell us what happened," Natsuo said impatiently from his seat of the couch.

"Soubi…he," Kio started. Should he just get right to the point and stop him dawdling. He took a deep breath and continued. "He only comes to me for his physical needs. I love him so much, but he doesn't seem to see me that way. He only wants Ritsuka and I feel like a child's toy."

"Were you two ever really a couple?" questioned Youji.

"N-no," Kio said, feeling more and more cornered by the second. Why did he even come to them, of all people, for advice? They were younger than he and probably had no idea about his feelings.

"And you understand that Soubi and Ritsuka's bond will always be stronger because they are fighter and sacrifice?" Natsuo said as he leaned on Youji's shoulder.

Through his glasses, Kio's expression looked uneasy. "Yes."

"Then, you know Soubi's affection is with Ritsuka and will most likely always be."

"So what should I do?" Kio asked. Natsuo and Youji were making the situation seem completely hopeless. He knew that it was probably hopeless, but he would never admit it. He had to keep his hopes up.

"You should forget about Soubi being anything more than your best friend. Unless Ritsuka leaves him for some reason, he will never return your feelings." Those were the words he had been dreading, but they were so true. He just needed to hear them from someone else.

Kio burst into tears feeling ashamed of his infatuation with the other blonde as the pair consoled him.

--

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" Ritsuka asked and with the look on Soubi face, he had some idea of the sleeping arrangements. "No way. You might try to molest me in my sleep! I think I will sleep on the couch." With that, Ritsuka grabbed a pillow and blanket from the hall closet and made himself comfortable on the couch.

Sleep took forever to come, so Ritsuka had resorted to counting imaginary sheep as they jumped over a nonexistent fence. Could sheep really jump that high?

It was getting really late, probably sometime in the next day and he still hadn't fallen asleep. He had thought about getting up and finding something to occupy his time, when there was a knock on the door. This was quite odd seeing as it was about 2 o'clock in the morning.

Getting up, the sacrifice walked to the door and peered through the hole made for this purpose. He saw Kio, who looked like he had been crying his eyes out. It seemed strange that he had knocked, seeing as he should have had a key.

He unlocked the door, pulled it open, and stepped aside to let the blonde in. Kio muttered thanks before heading off to his bedroom. Ritsuka felt like he should say something to the older male. He just looked as if something bad had happened to him.

"Kio, are you okay?" Ritsuka questioned keeping his voice down so he wouldn't wake Soubi. Why did he care anyways? Almost every word Kio had said to him had been an insult.

Kio looked back at the younger boy and gave him a smile that was genuinely fake. "I'm fine. There's no need to worry. Just forgot my keys, that's all"

Ritsuka knew those word were false, but he didn't question them.

--

Ritsuka sat alone in the cafeteria; the irritating noise of students was getting on his nerves. Yayoi and Yuiko were in some class for a make-up test. He had thirty minutes to do nothing at all. Well, he could eat, but that wouldn't take long and the he would have a ton of extra time to waste.

His mind lingered on Soubi, remembering what had happened days ago. Their kiss seemed to dominate his mind, as did Soubi's saving him from his mother's terrible abuse. Soubi was always there for him, but he could help wonder where he had been that day he hadn't shown up to walk him home from school.

He used his crutches to head down the hallway. He had to get out of that noisy cafeteria. The gray lockers ran down the side of the hallway and one was open, a boy struggling to shove his books inside.

The boy had unkempt brown hair and lighter brown cat ears. His light brown tail swayed as he closed his locker and spotted Ritsuka who hadn't even realized he was staring at the unknown boy. His violet eyes met the boy's vivid green eyes and Ritsuka moved his gaze to the floor.

"Are you new here?" the sacrifice questioned through the odd silence.

"Uh, yeah. Just moved here from a town a little ways over. Thought I'd skip lunch and look for my locker." He responded. "Name's Yamada Naoki, by the way."

"I'm Aoyagi Ritsuka. Nice to meet you." Ritsuka said. He knew it was hard moving into a new place and not knowing anyone. "Not to sound weird or anything, but if you want, your welcome to join me and my friends after school. We're going to the arcade."

"Sure." Naoki replied and Ritsuka told him where they would meet after school. For some reason beyond his understanding, he was drawn to this guy. Hopefully, Soubi didn't have any alternative plan for this evening or their group outing might have to wait. Soubi was higher up on his list.

--

A/N: I know this took a while, but I'm in high school. There is way too much homework. I reworked the plot so this story should be longer than I originally intended, but that a good thing for all you readers. Thanks so much to everybody who reviewed. You are why I continue to write, along with those who put this on story alert or favorite. For once, I have nothing written yet for the next chapter, but hopefully I can get the next chapter up quicker. DON"T FORGET TO REVIEW. Gratzie and arrivederci (I take Itatian).


	4. The Days That Disoriented Him

Disoriented Emotions

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that appear in this story. They belong to the talented Yun Kouga. Naoki is owned by xsinister.

--

Chapter 4: The Days That Disoriented Him

--

At the end of the school day, Ritsuka headed for the normal meeting place, the cement column in front of the school. Yuiko, Yayoi, and Soubi stood there waiting for his arrival so that they could go to the arcade. Naoki stood a ways off, his hood pulled tightly over his head with a nervous look plastered on his face.

Ritsuka approached Naoki first. "Hey, are you coming with us?"

Naoki pulled his hood off and looked a little apprehensive of whether or not to join the group. After looking as if he had been wavering between each choice, he asked, "Are you sure I won't be intruding. I don't want to be a bother."

"Oh course not. I'll introduce you to my friends." The sacrifice dragged Naoki along toward the group the best he could considering the crutches he was using.

Yuiko was chatting animatedly with Soubi, who didn't seem the least bit interested, when Ritsuka had joined them. "Ritsuka-kun, we were wondering when you would get here!" the pink haired girl exclaimed with excitement that came from out of the blue.

"I met Naoki today and invited him along with us. He's new here and he is really nice."

"Hi, I'm Yuiko!" voiced the only girl in the group, "Any friend of Ritsuka-kun, is a friend of mine." Naoki smiled and shook her hand, though he seemed quite taken back by her perkiness.

Ritsuka started to introduce the rest of the group. "This is Yayoi," he motioned at the boy standing to the side. The hand shaking process repeated.

"And this is Soubi, my…" the teen trailed off, unsure of what Soubi really was to him. He couldn't call him a friend because they were definitely more than that. Yet he could call him his boyfriend because it had never really come up in conversation and wasn't official. "…My guardian." He finished off because technically he was.

Soubi looked slightly irritated, but the raven haired boy could not tell whether it was from the guardian comment or having to take the teens to the arcade. They head off the arcade, uneasy looks on most of their faces.

--

Ritsuka learn two things about Naoki while they were at the arcade. The first thing was that he was extremely shy around everybody, but Ritsuka, himself. He would stray from the crowd, but when the sacrifice challenged him to a game, he would get excited and seem like a completely different person.

The second thing was that Naoki was, like everybody else, scared of Yuiko's out of the blue perkiness.

Soubi wasn't too fond of Naoki. His constant glares didn't help the cause.

All in all, Ritsuka got along with Naoki great.

--

Ritsuka had decided that he was going to kick Soubi out of his own bed. He had been very stubborn the first night and refused to sleep in the same bed as the older man, but he came to the conclusion that Soubi's couch was not made for sleeping on. He had the back ache to prove it. The sacrifice knew Soubi would agree to it, but something told him that this would not go as smoothly as planned.

Soubi was lying on his bed, flipping a page of the book he was reading every few minutes. Ritsuka eyes darted to the bandages wrapped around the blonde's neck being held in place by the butterfly clips the blonde adored so much. Every time Soubi would notice the younger boy was staring, Ritsuka would busy himself with his Homework once again.

"I won't believe it," the younger boy whispered to no one in particular. "Seimei…could never…" His voice trailed off. Ritsuka wouldn't believe it. Seimei, his loving elder brother, could never have been so cruel and harsh to someone; the same brother who had protected him from his mother's rampages.

The teenager climbed onto the bed, crawling slowly toward the fighter. He didn't say a word as he reached up to remove the bandages from Soubi's neck. He set the clips and the cloth aside. Ritsuka fingers traced the letters carved on Soubi's neck; the flesh now smooth with the time.

Soubi let Ritsuka continue, knowing that Ritsuka was only trying to come to terms with the truth of his brother's personality.

For an unknown reason, Ritsuka had the urge to kiss Soubi. He very hesitantly pressed his lips to Soubi's. He was sure why he was even kissing the blonde. He had never initiated a kiss between them before. Maybe he was just caught up in all the emotions from the realization that his brother wasn't who he thought and that Soubi had suffered because of it. I had to be the sympathy he felt for the blonde who had to endure the pain of his original sacrifice's motives.

Ritsuka's kiss was so gentle and innocent; something that Soubi could never accomplish. The blonde was not innocent. Just the other day, he had found himself being unfaithful to his sacrifice. He told himself that it was only to stop him from taking the high school student's ears. The sexual frustration he didn't want to be taken out on Ritsuka had been taken out on Kio.

Right now, Soubi couldn't contain himself. Whether it was Ritsuka lightly nipping as his neck or his small frame against him body, Soubi wanted dominance. The kissing became needier and Ritsuka allowed the blonde's tongue enter and probe his mouth. His arms found their way around the fighter's neck.

He had never hated it. In fact he liked it, but it was awkward and foreign to the sixteen year old boy. He never liked the idea of public displays of affection, but right now, where the door was closed and it was just him and Soubi, he felt like he was okay.

Soubi became impatient and demanding, flipping their positions and straddling the sacrifice's waist. The sacrifice let out a startled gasp as he found himself pinned down beneath Soubi. The blonde moved his lips down the Ritsuka neck. Ritsuka tilted his head to the side, allowing the elder man more access.

Hands move the teenager's shirt up as the blonde ravished him. Ritsuka forgot what he had even done that day.

Ritsuka did stop him or complain. Something in the back of his mind knew he should be stopping this, but the pleasure told him he wanted more.

Soubi's tongue left a wet trail down his stomach and dipped into his navel.

"Soubi…I" Ritsuka attempted, but was too overwhelmed to form a sentence. Soubi heard this, stopped and pushed himself up.

"Do you want me to stop?"

At the moment, a few things went through his mind. He thought of the consequences that he would have to deal with after this. He would have to explain to Yuiko and Yayoi why he didn't have his ears. He would have to explain to his mother and that would be downright nerve-wracking, not to mention dangerous. He thought about his relationship with Soubi. Were the even considered a couple? Would their relationship turn into strictly sex and nothing more? He wouldn't be able to deal with that.

The last thing that went through his mind was that faint mark on Soubi's neck. If he wasn't mistaken, it looked an awful lot like a hickey. The sacrifice was almost positive he hadn't left it. He had bitten that hard and he was inexperienced. Nobody else could have left it, right?

"I," Ritsuka started. He really didn't know whether he wanted it to end. Would this leave Soubi angry at him?

Both the fighter and the sacrifice turned their heads at the loud beating they heard. Somebody was pounding on the door to Soubi's apartment as if they were attempted to break the door down.

"Soubi! I thought I thought you gave Ritsuka a key!" Kio shouted from the other room. They scrambled out to the living room staring at the door. Nobody else usually came by.

Soubi opened the door to see Yuiko in disarray. She was breathing as if she had just run a mile.

"Ritsuka!" she shouted, "Your mother…she's…" She attempted to catch her breath.

"My mother?" Ritsuka questioned. "What are you talking about?"

Soubi lead Yuiko to sit on the couch and Kio brought her a glass of water. After drinking the water, she started again. "Your mother is rampaging around the city. She looking for you and screaming 'Where is Ritsuka'. She came to both me and Yayoi's house looking for you and Yayoi said you were here. I tried calling you, but you didn't answer so I ran here and surprising beat your mother here.

Ritsuka picked up his crutches and headed towards the door. "I've got to stop her."

"No." It was Soubi. The blonde grabbed Ritsuka's arm to stop him from advancing. "I'm not going to let you go near that woman. You know what happened last time."

"I'm still going. You promised me I would have freedom and now I feeling like I can't trust for more than just this reason." Ritsuka snatched his arm back and continued his way to the door.

"Don't stop me. That's an order." Ritsuka voice was cold and harsh. He hated ordering Soubi to do anything. It made it seem like Soubi was more of a servant than anything else, but it was the only way to get the fighter to let him go.

"I understand." Soubi replied. Yuiko gave Soubi and apologetic look and ran off to follow Ritsuka.

--

The cold night air enveloped Ritsuka and Yuiko as the moved down a couple blocks. They didn't have to get far to see Aoyagi Misaki standing there. Her hair was in disarray and one of her shoes was missing. Yuiko had been right when she had said his mother had gone on a rampage.

"Ritsuka!" she shouted as he ran full speed to pull Ritsuka into a crushing hug. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!" She pulled him closer.

"I've been in the hospital and at my friend's house." Ritsuka frowned. Why of all time did his mother care for him? She didn't even seem to realize he was on crutches or that she was practically suffocating him.

"Who put you in the hospital? We have to call the police!" Ritsuka knew Misaki was unstable, but while in her grip, he could do nothing. "Tell me who did this to you!"

The sacrifice took a deep breath. "You did."

His mother's expression changed drastically. "How dare you accuse me of hurting my own kid? You're not _my_ Ritsuka!" She proceeded to raise her fist and was about to strike her son. Before she could make contact, a hand had wrapped around her wrist, holding her arm back.

"I won't let you hurt Ritsuka." Siren sounded around them and blue and red light flashed. Soubi held back Misaki as the police approached her.

"Mother," Ritsuka whispered as he watched her being put in the back of the police car. She was still yelling to him and telling him to bring the real Ritsuka back.

The sacrifice was in a daze. The colors were blurring together. He ran towards the most familiar thing he saw.

"Soubi!" Ritsuka buried his face into his fighter's shirt. "What did I do? Everybody is being taken away from me! Seimei…my mother…Promise me you won't ever leave me!" He was breaking down, but anybody would in his position.

"I promise."

--

Soubi had instructed Kio to phone the police as soon as Ritsuka had left the house and followed his sacrifice. Aoyagi Misaki was place in an institution for the mentally insane and Ritsuka was advised not to go see her for a while. Ritsuka was no longer burdened with his mother's constant beatings. The high school student was placed in Soubi's care, since his father's whereabouts were unknown at the moment.

Ritsuka was still crying in Soubi's arm when everybody had gone home. The emotion brought by losing most of his family was too much for the sixteen year old. Soubi had promised not to ever leave the sacrifice and it wasn't as if he ever intended to.

Eventually, Ritsuka had calmed down and had fallen asleep in his fighter's arms.

"Ritsuka, I love you." He didn't expect to get an answer. He didn't need one.

--

A/N: I really did want this chapter to be longer, but I think this is a good place to end it. It started out as a filler chapter with fluff, it turned into an almost lime, and then the plot bunny jumped in. I hope you like. Please review! I would like to have 20 reviews before the next update, but I doubt I will get that many. Thanks to everybody who read, reviewed, faved, and put the story on alert. I appreciate it.


	5. Hiatus

To All Readers of Disoriented Emotions:

As of now, Disoriented Emotions is on hiatus. I plan to rewrite the chapters and fix mistakes from this version. This is not to say that I am abandoning the story. I hope to continue this. I just don't know when.

There is a project I have been working on that has taking up the time previously used for Disoriented Emotions. I am in the progress of writing an original story titled "Once Bitten Twice Shy". It is a BL story also. I would greatly appreciate it if you would read and review the first chapter. This story is also being draw as a manga. Writing and drawing this story will take a while and that is the reason for putting this story on hiatus.

Sorry to those who were looking for a new chapter. If you do like my writing style, please follow the link and read my original story.

Thank you for reading Disoriented Emotion. You fans are the reason I have not dropped the story completely.

www .fictionpress .com /s/ 2555580 /1/ OnceBittenTwiceShy

Remove the spaces.


	6. Discontinued

Sorry. It's not an update.

This story is discontinued because I can no longer continue to write fanfiction in general.

I am working on two original stories and I have lost interest in writing anything else. If you would like to read my original fiction, just PM me.

I'm really sorry. Thank you to those people who read, reviewed, and enjoyed this fanfiction while it lasted.

-Chemoetherapy 


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